Monday, December 10, 2007

I'm a-blogging....

Hi all y'all!!!!
I am blogging for the first time in Months!

All is going well for me.

The big new is....

Oh crap. I have to take the dog out!

Stay tuned for more insightful musings.


Tuesday, September 11, 2007


So many of my friends here have suffered so much more heart ache than I have. So many have lost loved ones, seen a much loved family member or friend struggle with pain, watched and waited helplessly as someone dear to them gradually losses their memory, held their child's hand as they go though the sometimes painful process of growing up and moving on. I am lucky and blessed that my family and loved ones are well.

But yet my heart is breaking. I can actually feel it in my chest as it comes apart. It feels like someone has reached in and squeezed it so it is bruised and has cut it, not through and through, but just enough so that it is barely hanging together by a tiny, fragile thread.

My husband and I sold our house.

We put the house on the market in order to live in separate households when it sold. Now the reason for us living together is gone.

I miss him already. I cannot imagine sitting alone in another house knowing that he is not going to be calling me to let me know that he is running late or is on his way home.

I have always known that, no matter what is happening, he will always come home.

I miss hearing him sing funny songs to the dogs. I miss the smell of the house after he showers and gets dressed. I miss hearing him whistle in the morning. I miss hearing his voice on the phone asking me if I would like for him to pick me up something to eat on his way home. I miss getting daily hugs and being able to tell each other "I love you". I miss kissing him goodbye in the morning while he is still in bed. And each morning before I go to work, he tells me I look beautiful even though I don't feel beautiful. I miss him pointing out deer or turkeys or some other wild thing to me knowing that it makes me smile to see them. I miss him telling me about a new colt that was just born on a farm nearby so I can be sure to ride by and see it on it's wobbly legs. I miss knowing that, if I need to, I can sit with him in his big chair and he will put his arms around me. I miss him telling me "Thank You" for doing things that I should do willing anyway, like vacuuming the floors or washing his clothes or putting fresh sheets on his bed. I miss the notes he used to leave me where he drew pictures of an eye, a heart, and a ewe for I Love You.

He has done so much more for me than I have done for him. He has given me so much more than I have given to him.

Even though we have been walking separate paths the past several months, they have always run side-by-side. I always knew that if I looked over, I would see him there watching over me. Now our paths are widening apart and I know that if I look for him I will find him. But the comfort of his presence and love will no longer be within arms reach.

He is a good man.

I miss him already.

My heart is breaking.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007


I just checked my blog and saw that I had SIX comments! Someone out there is checking my lame-ass blog!

(And I did go btw......But that's another blog altogether.)


Wednesday, June 27, 2007

As The Clash asked....should I stay or should I go

ACM(NTH) is playing in Montgomery Saturday night. If I dress in disguise, do you think I could get away with just listening to the music????? If I PROMISE not to make a fool of me or ACM(NTH). Please Please give me permissions! (Except for Am...I know I won't get permissions from her!)

Want good music in my life. NEED good music in my life. Don't need acm(nth). Just his music.

Permission granted or denied. Not that I will necessaily take your advice....but thought I'd get input if anybody is reading my lame ass blog!

The Knee Things

Paging Travis......Paging Travis.....Travis please pick up on the white phone.

I am in desparate need of Travis to visit FBB again. I miss the magic foxhole with the wonderful supply of leather jackets, harps, etc.

And the knee thingy. I am having withdrawals!

Tuesday, June 26, 2007

The Humane Society

It's official. My house has turned into an animal shelter.

We now have three dogs and a cat.

And when I say dogs, I don't mean the little fluffy kind that greet you when you get home and will sit with you quietly on the couch or bed while you are relaxing after a long day at work.

Oh No. I mean the kind of dogs that weigh 60-70 pounds and are still growing. I mean the kind of dogs that you just can let loose in the yard because they have not properly trained (yet). And when they are not on a leash and unsupervised, they have to stay in their kennels...which are In The House. They are currently taking up approximatly 40 square feet of my laundry room. And with the dogs/dog kennels in the house, hair follows.

And I don't mean a few stray hairs here and there. I mean that the amount of hair that ends up in my house daily could easily be woven into a room size rug. It is a battle I cannot win. And one, in fact, that I have given up on winning.

and I am sick and tired of it. i am sick of training them. taking them out to the bathroom every few hours on a leash. sick of trying to keep them from tying up with each other. sick of trying to keep them from tying up with other furry mammals. sick of ..... just sick of all of it.

All I every wanted was just a dog. One dog. A dog that is not smarter than me. A dog that is as lazy as I am. A dog that doesn't require 24 hour supervision.

In fact, I'm thinking about moving out of my house and moving into our local animal shelter.

Monday, May 28, 2007

Sunday, May 27, 2007


I have learned.

I have learned that when you enter a relationship "just for sex", it only makes you whore. And when a woman-of-a-certain-age makes that decision, it makes her not only a whore, but a pathetic whore.

A whore does not get or deserve respect from her sex partner. It's understandable. That is what makes her a whore.

Why bother taking time to find out what she thinks, what she feels, what makes her laugh and cry. They are both are getting exactly what was agreed upon. Just sex.

It doesn't keep her from being lonely. I've learned that, ironically, makes her lonelier.

I've learned that whores do not get their hands held tenderly. They do not get lingering hugs or sweet kisses. They do not sit at tables with their partners, leaning in toward one anther to talk and laugh the way lovers do. The are not introduced to friends. The are not invited to spend the night after a tryst. So they go home, or are left, to sleep alone. Since a she and her partner are not lovers, whores do not get the privilege of going to sleep in another's arms.

I've learned that men do not take a whore to a public place. If they happen to run into each other in a public place, she is ignored, and rightly so. I've been told that if it is known that he is fucking a whore, it would scare off women with whom he may possibly want to develop a more meaningful relationship. Of course, any relationship above the whore-level is a more meaningful relationship.

If a whore is delusional enough be hope for more, she will do and say things that humiliate herself. But even worse, those things humiliate her partner too. Whores that want more from the arrangement will cling to the hope that one day, he will realize that she is respectable enough, interesting enough, witty enough, to warrant more than an orgasm.

I've learned that when a woman-of-a-certain-age decides to become a whore, the fault for any and all heartache, tears, rage, and humiliations suffered by her or her partner lays squarely on her shoulders. The reason I believe this is because I've learned that men do not make women whores, women do that to themselves.

This has been a really important lesson for me. One which I have, fortunately, not had to learn until this point in my life. I hope it "takes." Thank you to all of my friends who have done their best to tutor me through this lesson. But it is one that I had to learn for myself. And even though the lesson has been learned, I cannot say that I will pass the test.

The following lyrics ironically came to mind after I wrote this post:

Lonely women make good lovers
They're all at mercy of a good lookin' smooth talkin' man
Lonely women make good lovers
So if you got a woman better treat her just as good as you can

Lots of times a lonely girl will go out on the town
With no thought of evil on her mind
She don't try to plant bad seeds
But there's something every woman needs
And a friendly smile will tempt her every time

Once a woman's tasted love she can't live without it
She'll search for something warm when she gets cold
And if her lips are wet with wine when it comes to lovin' time
She'll trade her pride for something warm to hold

-Writers: Freddy Weller, Spooner Oldham
-1972 Careers Music, BMI

Monday, May 21, 2007

Robbie Amonett

It's not called Bull Ridin', it's called Rodeoin'.

Get a mental picture of a cross between the most commonly known image of Jesus and Bo Bice and you have Robbie Amonett.

He's rodeoed all over the country. And has tattoos of some of his rides. He once scoured the parking lot of a Wal-Mart to gather the funds to enter a rodeo. He picked up $90. And won $5000.

Gotten stranded in Oregon by accepting a (one-way) plane ticket from an internet girlfriend who was (unbeknownst to him) married. Since he had $5 in his pocket and couldn't afford the plane ticket home, she "kept him" (as she fully intended) for a few months while he saved up money to get back home.

He has worked as a welder off shore and on. While working off-shore, he discovered a talent for art by copying the most prolific art on the boat; pornography. He drew pictures, cut them out and covered the wall with them. His boss came into his quarters one day and told him he should go to college to study art. And here he is in Montevallo, studying art. He also has a business degree.

He once accepted a plane ticket from a former boss to go to the Virgin Islands to work. He lived there for a year building a casino at St. Croix.

He's written humorous poetry about the life he lived while he was rodeoing. Traveled with Chris Shivers and attended a bull riding camp put on by Tuff Hedeman. He's been to Brazil to study with Adriano Moraes and other Brazilian riders.

Old love letters and pictures of him as a kid, photos of his family, old girlfriends, of his bull riding days, and various other memorabilia fill his photo albums.

The apartment he lives in is three rooms in a basement. There is no TV, no internet service, no phone (other than his cell). His music is played on a turn table with albums purchased for 50 cents from the thrift store. His power bill is $29 per month.

Smiles come easily, and laughter too. Mild mannered and a Southern Gentleman, as he calls himself.

He has lived in San Diego, Ft. Worth, Mississippi, Oregon (see above), the Virgin Islands (see above again), and other places I haven't learned about yet.

He's been married before, and divorced a year later. He found out his wife was having an affair beginning two weeks after they were married. In his words, with a laugh he tells me "At least somebody was gettin' some. ‘Cause I sure wasn't".

He is a vegetarian. but does not condemn those who are not. He, in fact, called me a smart ass when I offered him some bacon once.

One week he camped at the bottom of the Grand Canyon.

He was a roadie for a band for about a year. Traveling all over the southeast. He has just started playing bass guitar for a band and which has their first gig in a few weeks.

Tonight he made shadow puppets on the ceiling using a candle and a wine bottle opener and made me laugh out loud.

Smoking dope should not be illegal according to him. One should be able to grow their own for personal use. With which I do not disagree.

He has a kitten named Nugget who has the run of the house.

There is no door to his bedroom. Only hanging "hippie beads." And he has a Glade Air Freshener that lights up with different colors. Says he might get some more just for the fun of it.

The fridge does not have any beer or alcohol. Soy milk and Cherrywine colas.

He's lived in the hayloft of various barns and other sundry places.

Today he purchased a book about building a house out of organic materials and wants to live independent of the confines of those things commonly taken for granted today. His plan is to be completely self-sufficient so, as he says, when the end time comes, he won't have to depend on anyone to supply his needs.

He has lived more in his 31 years than I will ever live in my lifetime.

Robbie is one of the most interesting people I have ever met. I will, one day, persuade him to put his stories to paper.

Tuesday, May 08, 2007

Introducing Chet Atkins....

I love the sound of music being made............

Georgia On My Mind

Danny Boy

Monday, May 07, 2007

Hum...What Do You Think?

Why does one stay up later than one should on a work night? You know you should be in bed...or at least picking over your well worn, tired wardrobe for something to wear tomorrow that doesn't have to be ironed.

Why do you stay up later than you know you should?? (or is it just me??)

Don't know why I added this. I heard it today and sang along.......Go ahead and sing it. It's fun!

Friday, May 04, 2007

A Revelation

Well, today I had a revelation. It was so profound that I just had to blog it. I had been considering

ouch! ouch! Writer's cramp! Writer's cramp!

Pearl of Wisdom

Almost didn't post tonight but I didn't want to disappoint my legion of fans. So to all of you reading my blog, here's my pearl for the day:
You can't make a silk purse from a sow's ear.

All outta words.

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Just Because I Can

Just writing because I have a blog and I'm supposed to write.

Whew. All done.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

Bye Bye Again

AAArrrrrruuugghhh! Damm technology!!!!!!!!!!!!

Here, watch this.
It's not the full, real video but you get the general idea.

And here is a bonus vid. Miranda Lambert. One rockin' country chick.

Warning: This video is highly combustable!

I did spend a very pleasant day yesterday on the lake with a very very sweet guy who likes me. I certainly wish I found him remotely sexy/desirable.

(The irony is that he wants from me what I wanted from A Certain Musician (Not Taylor Hicks). And I'm giving him as much as ACM(NTH) gave to me. That does Not make me a nice person....Read into that what you will.)

We took his boat out to the lake and fished for a while. Didn't catch anything, which frustrates him to no end. But I just like casting a line.

We went to a couple of fishing spots and then he gave up and started to head back in. But it was too beautiful of a day and I didn't want to go home. So we just floated on the lake for a while.

It was race weekend so is was not very crowded. Pretty quite for one of the first really good weekends to take a boat out.

Last night I stopped by Eclipse (restaurant/bar/bookstore). It's an old farmhouse that was moved to downtown Montevallo and has a great wrap-around-porch on which "the crowd" sits and drinks and bullshits and laughs and sometimes plays music.

I saw some folks I hadn't seen in a while and that was all good. I think I'll check in there more often. There is a regular crowd there so I know almost everyone. Most I have know for decades, some I have only know for a few years, and some I have just met. It's an interesting place.

Being home to a liberal arts university, my town is very eclectic.

And Montevallo is so captivating for some that, after they graduate, or when they drop out of school, they stay in Montevallo. Those who graduate or are "natives" usually get or have "real jobs".

The others sponge off everyone else. But more about that later.

Blogged enough for now.

Friday, April 27, 2007

Independence Day!

The time has finally come!

I will no longer pine for A Certain Musician (Not Taylor Hicks).

Finito. Finished. Done. Over.

No more tears.
No more moping.
No more pouting.
No more e-mails/MySpace messages/text messages/Yahoo-Msn chat/phone calls/smoke signals/drum beats/carrier pigeons/messages in bottles/concerts/checking his website to see where the next show is/checking obsessively to see if my any teeny-tiny chance that he may have contacted me.

Watch this video!!!!! (sit though the commercial at the beginning...lyrics are Priceless!)

Thursday, April 12, 2007

Random Thoughts

i have researched why my dogs (a bitch and a male) do the humpty-dumpty.

it's all about dominance. not procreation. dominance.

the dog on top is expressing dominance over the other dog.

and that started me thinking.................

the most common sexual positions for a man and a woman......

man on from behind.

Sound familiar?



Sunday, April 01, 2007

Hi Y'all

Don't know if anybody's even going to read this since I haven't blogged in such a long time.

Anyway, after all this blogging I've just done, time for a nap!

luv & smooches!

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Cleaning Day

Opens door to chat room and looks around
Wow. This place could use some sprucing up! It looks all dingy and sorta grimy. This is definitely not how this room should look.
Lugs in buckets, brooms and various cleaning products
Looks around again and hits the light switch
Hum. That light bulb needs replacing.
Opens a step ladder and replaces the spotlight focused on the Black Velvet Painting Of Taylor Hicks.
That's better. But it's so dark and dreary in here.
Goes to the window and flings open the curtains
Dust bunnies go scurring to the corners of the room
Everything'll look brighter once these windows are cleaned.
Reaches for a bottle of Windex and starts to clean, admiring the beautiful sunset
Stands back and nods head in approval
Turns around to get a another look
It's a little worse than I thought. But nothing that can't be fixed with a little loving care.
Takes a deep breath
OK. First the wet bar. *ahem*
Throws away all of the dirty ashtrays and replaces them with beautiful crystal ones
Washes all of the glassware until it sparkles and puts it back in its place
Replaces empty and almost-empty bottles of Crown, Jack, and other various and sundry liquors and restocks fridge
Wipes down the bar with Murphy's Oil Soap until it gleams
Much better. Time for a beer? Nope. Better finish up first.
Places a bowl of beer nuts on the bar
Looks around the room and shakes head
Grabs a garbage bag and starts around the room picking up crushed walnuts, empty beer bottles, old Chik-Fil-A milkshake cups, broken dishes, half-eaten bags of Doritos, crumpled paper and all of the other garbage laying around

Straightens up luggage, puts puppy toys in basket, and stacks up thud mats, all the while keeping an eye out for magic foxholes
After filling three garbage bags full of old rubbish the garbage bags are taken outside to the hallway for later disposal
Getting better. These walls could use some paint. But I'll do that another day. I'll just scrub 'em down today.
Fills a pail with warm water and sponges down the walls
Looks down at pail filled with brown water
Now that is nasty. But the room is really starting to come around!
Reaches for the broom and dust pan
Goes to the corners of the room and sweeps up the dust bunnies
Takes them outside and releases them into the wild
Smiles while watching their cute little tails bob up and down as they hop into the woods
Heads back into the room and sweeps up the rest of the dust, crumbs, puppy hair, etc.
Even cleans under the couch, but leaves one cheeto, just for fun
Damp mops the beautiful hardwood with vinegar and water, 'cause you're not supposed to use any harsh chemicals on hardwood floors
The rich wood reflects the last of the sunlight shining through the windows
Ah. Now here is the room that I love. And the room that hosts the people that I love.
Puts away cleaning supplies
Lights candles and places them around the room
Sets a bowl of fresh flowers on the coffee table and walks to the door
Just one last important thing.
Takes the newly laundered community snot rag off its hook
Gently wipes away all hurt feelings and angry tears from the beloved room
Turns around to take one last look and uses the community snot rag to wipe own tear away
Now. It's almost time for everyone to get here. I hope they like what I've done to the place.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Monday, January 01, 2007

Farewell 2006

How many new friends were made in 2006?
How many romances began?
How many people decided to chase their dream?
How many gained the courage to step out on their own?
How many finally saw their self-worth?
How many discovered new talents and nurtured them?
How many decided to do something just for themselves?
How many found ways do something for others?
How many contacts were added to address books and cell phone numbers exchanged?
How many packed a bag and traveled to new places knowing that friends would be waiting?
How many realized that you don't have to settle for what you've got?
How many laughs were shared with new friends?
How many hearts broke for them?
How many came to depend on people who's faces they have never touched?
How many were amazed to find out that so many others cared for and loved them?
How many danced for the first time in a long time?
How many determined that you create your own happiness?
How many hugs were given and received by people who saw each other for the very first time?

2007 has mighty big shoes to fill.