Saturday, January 20, 2007

Cleaning Day

Opens door to chat room and looks around
Wow. This place could use some sprucing up! It looks all dingy and sorta grimy. This is definitely not how this room should look.
Lugs in buckets, brooms and various cleaning products
Looks around again and hits the light switch
Hum. That light bulb needs replacing.
Opens a step ladder and replaces the spotlight focused on the Black Velvet Painting Of Taylor Hicks.
That's better. But it's so dark and dreary in here.
Goes to the window and flings open the curtains
Dust bunnies go scurring to the corners of the room
Everything'll look brighter once these windows are cleaned.
Reaches for a bottle of Windex and starts to clean, admiring the beautiful sunset
Stands back and nods head in approval
Turns around to get a another look
It's a little worse than I thought. But nothing that can't be fixed with a little loving care.
Takes a deep breath
OK. First the wet bar. *ahem*
Throws away all of the dirty ashtrays and replaces them with beautiful crystal ones
Washes all of the glassware until it sparkles and puts it back in its place
Replaces empty and almost-empty bottles of Crown, Jack, and other various and sundry liquors and restocks fridge
Wipes down the bar with Murphy's Oil Soap until it gleams
Much better. Time for a beer? Nope. Better finish up first.
Places a bowl of beer nuts on the bar
Looks around the room and shakes head
Grabs a garbage bag and starts around the room picking up crushed walnuts, empty beer bottles, old Chik-Fil-A milkshake cups, broken dishes, half-eaten bags of Doritos, crumpled paper and all of the other garbage laying around

Straightens up luggage, puts puppy toys in basket, and stacks up thud mats, all the while keeping an eye out for magic foxholes
After filling three garbage bags full of old rubbish the garbage bags are taken outside to the hallway for later disposal
Getting better. These walls could use some paint. But I'll do that another day. I'll just scrub 'em down today.
Fills a pail with warm water and sponges down the walls
Looks down at pail filled with brown water
Now that is nasty. But the room is really starting to come around!
Reaches for the broom and dust pan
Goes to the corners of the room and sweeps up the dust bunnies
Takes them outside and releases them into the wild
Smiles while watching their cute little tails bob up and down as they hop into the woods
Heads back into the room and sweeps up the rest of the dust, crumbs, puppy hair, etc.
Even cleans under the couch, but leaves one cheeto, just for fun
Damp mops the beautiful hardwood with vinegar and water, 'cause you're not supposed to use any harsh chemicals on hardwood floors
The rich wood reflects the last of the sunlight shining through the windows
Ah. Now here is the room that I love. And the room that hosts the people that I love.
Puts away cleaning supplies
Lights candles and places them around the room
Sets a bowl of fresh flowers on the coffee table and walks to the door
Just one last important thing.
Takes the newly laundered community snot rag off its hook
Gently wipes away all hurt feelings and angry tears from the beloved room
Turns around to take one last look and uses the community snot rag to wipe own tear away
Now. It's almost time for everyone to get here. I hope they like what I've done to the place.

Tuesday, January 16, 2007