Lessons

I have learned.

I have learned that when you enter a relationship "just for sex", it only makes you whore. And when a woman-of-a-certain-age makes that decision, it makes her not only a whore, but a pathetic whore.

A whore does not get or deserve respect from her sex partner. It's understandable. That is what makes her a whore.

Why bother taking time to find out what she thinks, what she feels, what makes her laugh and cry. They are both are getting exactly what was agreed upon. Just sex.

It doesn't keep her from being lonely. I've learned that, ironically, makes her lonelier.

I've learned that whores do not get their hands held tenderly. They do not get lingering hugs or sweet kisses. They do not sit at tables with their partners, leaning in toward one anther to talk and laugh the way lovers do. The are not introduced to friends. The are not invited to spend the night after a tryst. So they go home, or are left, to sleep alone. Since a she and her partner are not lovers, whores do not get the privilege of going to sleep in another's arms.

I've learned that men do not take a whore to a public place. If they happen to run into each other in a public place, she is ignored, and rightly so. I've been told that if it is known that he is fucking a whore, it would scare off women with whom he may possibly want to develop a more meaningful relationship. Of course, any relationship above the whore-level is a more meaningful relationship.

If a whore is delusional enough be hope for more, she will do and say things that humiliate herself. But even worse, those things humiliate her partner too. Whores that want more from the arrangement will cling to the hope that one day, he will realize that she is respectable enough, interesting enough, witty enough, to warrant more than an orgasm.

I've learned that when a woman-of-a-certain-age decides to become a whore, the fault for any and all heartache, tears, rage, and humiliations suffered by her or her partner lays squarely on her shoulders. The reason I believe this is because I've learned that men do not make women whores, women do that to themselves.

This has been a really important lesson for me. One which I have, fortunately, not had to learn until this point in my life. I hope it "takes." Thank you to all of my friends who have done their best to tutor me through this lesson. But it is one that I had to learn for myself. And even though the lesson has been learned, I cannot say that I will pass the test.

The following lyrics ironically came to mind after I wrote this post:

Lonely women make good lovers
They're all at mercy of a good lookin' smooth talkin' man
Lonely women make good lovers
So if you got a woman better treat her just as good as you can

Lots of times a lonely girl will go out on the town
With no thought of evil on her mind
She don't try to plant bad seeds
But there's something every woman needs
And a friendly smile will tempt her every time

Once a woman's tasted love she can't live without it
She'll search for something warm when she gets cold
And if her lips are wet with wine when it comes to lovin' time
She'll trade her pride for something warm to hold

-Writers: Freddy Weller, Spooner Oldham
-1972 Careers Music, BMI