Why do I always feel like I'm on the Outside Looking In?
Even when I'm with people I love, I still feel this way. And I don't like it.
I always seem to be on the fringes of life.
I try to be on the Inside. I really do.
It sucks. Everything seems to swirl around me, without ever touching me. Conversations, friends, family.
I guess it's because I hold back. Do I hold back? I must.
What a bunch of crap. I'm not clever enough to hold any one's attention. People seem to talk around me. Why is that? I try to join in but once again.........talked around.
I hate it.
Maybe I'm not "engaging" enough. Too stunted.
I can be entertaining sometimes, I guess. But I don't seem to be able to add much to conversations. I think I'm amusing occasionally. But apparently I'm not as amusing enough.
I try....I really do. Don't get offended or defensive please....but even in FBB chat, I don't seem to be able to hold anyone attention or get "chatted up". Please don't try extra hard the next time I visit. It will only make me feel more ..... needy.
And I'm not needy. I very self-sufficient. Maybe too self-sufficient.
Anyway......Dana has issues with her self-esteem apparently but I love her so much. And I guess I have issues with feeling like I'm on the Outside Looking In.
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4 comments:
My poor Lynn...I love you so much! After all - I don't have many devoted follwers! Let's tiptoe through the self-esteem tulips together, okay?
Now stop it!! You are not boring. You are not on the outside.
You are a talented writer with things to say - now say them!!
Lynn! OMG! You make me laugh all the time. I love you! You have such a good heart. You write so well! So stop that...you are a woman to be reckoned with, you are very special to me, I hope you know that! Love you so much!
Sueann
I love you, bamalamadingdong. Wish I saw you more often, but I'm hardly ever there when you are.
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